Brenda Caris Kotsis

Brenda Caris Kotsis Brenda was full of life, and Brenda loved life. Brenda Caris Kotsis passed from this earthly life on Sunday, September 13, 2026, at the age of 71, surrounded by her loving family. She leaves behind a life that cannot adequately be measured by 71 years, because of the extraordinary number of people she loved, served, encouraged, advocated for and made feel like they mattered. Brenda had an incredible capacity to love people. She didn't really do surface-level relationships. Whether you were family, a lifelong friend or someone she had just met, Brenda wanted to know you. She would learn about your family, what was happening in your life, what you were celebrating and what you were struggling with—and somehow, months or years later, she would remember the details. She had a gift for making people feel seen, heard, remembered and loved. And if you knew Brenda, you knew her enthusiasm. She wore her emotions on her sleeve. She had a contagious laugh and squeals of excitement that would capture a room. When she was happy for you, you knew it. She celebrated other people's lives with the same enthusiasm with which she lived her own. At the center of Brenda's life was her family. She was the beloved wife of Ted Kotsis, with whom she celebrated 50 years of marriage this year. She was the proud mother of Michael (Jill) Kotsis, Elaine Kotsis and Manny (Aubrey) Kotsis, and loving sister of Jim (Maryann) Caris. She was preceded in death by her father, Jim Caris, and only two months ago said goodbye to her mother, Niki, whom Brenda lovingly cared for throughout her life. She is also survived by many nieces, nephews, extended family members and friends whom she loved deeply. And then there were her four grandchildren. Being Yiayia brought Brenda immeasurable joy. She adored Zachary, Eleni, Samuel and Penelope, and she didn't merely love them from the sidelines—she entered into each of their worlds. She cheered Zachary on through years of soccer and basketball. She delighted in Eleni's acting and singing and, even during the final weeks of her life, watched and rewatched Eleni's Michigan State Fair performance and cheered her on. She loved watching Sam's mind work and seeing the wholehearted way he could immerse himself in everything from basketball to cars, Legos, Spider-Man and Paw Patrol over the years. And she shared an especially sweet bond with Penelope Anastasia, who shares Brenda's own baptismal name, Anastasia—filled with tea parties, stories and the notebooks Brenda happily supplied for Penny's ever-growing collection. In Brenda's final weeks, the roles even began to reverse, as Penny sat beside her Yiayia and read stories to her. Perhaps nowhere was Brenda's fierce love more visible than in the life of her daughter, Elaine. Elaine was born with significant special needs, and from that moment forward Brenda became her voice and one of her fiercest advocates. But Brenda didn't stop with Elaine. She became an advocate for people with developmental disabilities throughout Michigan, building relationships, challenging systems and helping create possibilities not only for her daughter but for countless other families. She fought for dignity, opportunity, inclusion and the right for people with disabilities to live full lives. And Brenda made sure Elaine lived. There were dances and proms, bowling, activities, friendships and experiences. Brenda wasn't interested merely in making sure her daughter was cared for. She wanted Elaine—and others like her—to have a life filled with belonging, possibility and joy. That instinct to get involved seemed to follow Brenda everywhere. She earned her Bachelor of Science in Dental Hygiene from the University of Detroit and began working full-time as a dental hygienist in 1976, later continuing part-time until 2019. But a list of jobs could never capture how Brenda spent her life. She volunteered in her children's schools, served as a Sunday School teacher and choir member, welcomed people into church, participated in Bible studies, led her homeowners association, organized neighborhood activities and garage sales, played in golf leagues, gathered friends for Euchre and games, danced, and was never afraid to open her home for a birthday, holiday, graduation or giant surprise party. Brenda also loved experiences. She loved the water, sunsets, bonfires, s'mores and looking up at the stars. Family trips to Boyne Mountain, summers in Charlevoix and winters on Estero Island, Florida, became part of the rhythm of family life for many years—and countless memories were created on each of them. Even on vacation, Brenda was Brenda: gathering people together, hosting cousins and relatives for big dinners, volleyball and time together. There was something about being on the water that brought Brenda a sense of calm and ease. She loved golf trips with Ted, ski trips, Florida, road trips across the country and, eventually, traveling overseas with the people she loved most. One of Brenda's favorite stories was being seated behind the Detroit Tigers dugout during the 1984 World Series, watching Kirk Gibson hit the home run that helped propel the Tigers to the championship. For years afterward, she still kept a piece of Tiger Stadium turf in her backyard—a very Brenda combination of excitement, memory and holding onto the moments that mattered. At her 50th high school reunion in 2023, Brenda wrote that she had traveled to Greece twice, hoped to return, and still dreamed of going to Italy. She got to live that dream. In 2025, Brenda and Ted joined Michael, Jill and their children for an unforgettable Soul School journey through Greece and Italy, sharing part of the adventure with Jill's parents as well. They explored Greece together, visited the Kotsis family's ancestral village near Ioannina, experienced Corfu, traveled through Italy—the Amalfi Coast, Capri and Rome—and walked into Vatican City together. Michael will never forget watching Brenda enter St. Peter's Square and simply stop in awe as its beauty took her breath away—or sitting together beneath Michelangelo's ceiling in the Sistine Chapel, taking it all in. Brenda made that journey while dealing with significant hip pain and underwent hip replacement surgery shortly after returning home. Looking back now, the timing of that trip feels like an extraordinary gift: Brenda and Ted didn't wait for someday. They went. They lived it together. That may be one of the greatest lessons Brenda leaves behind. She faced triple-negative breast cancer beginning in 2018 with the same determination with which she approached the rest of her life. She asked questions, learned, dug in deeply, took ownership of her path forward and remained committed to living a full, healthy, quality life. Cancer was something Brenda faced; it never defined who Brenda was. And that strength wasn't new. Brenda was tough, determined and possessed an incredible will to live and serve. Through knee, back, esophageal and hip surgeries—and other health challenges over the years—she kept getting back up, moving forward and living her life. Her Orthodox Christian faith was woven throughout her life. She prayed. She studied Scripture. She participated in Bible studies. She served her church. She taught Sunday School. She served in the choir. She volunteered at the church festivals. But perhaps the strongest testimony of Brenda's faith was not something she said. It was how she lived. She taught her children and her grandchildren without always setting out to teach them. She taught them by caring. By loving. By serving. By putting herself in someone else's shoes. By anticipating what another person might need. By standing up for what she believed was right. By taking action instead of waiting for somebody else to do it. By showing up. And by loving her neighbor. As Michael reflected after her passing: “My mom instilled in me the spirit of taking action, the spirit of loving, the spirit of serving selflessly, and the love of Christ for your neighbor.” Brenda's life leaves an invitation for all of us: Don't wait for someday. Take the trip. Sit by the water. Light the bonfire. Play the game. Throw the party. Show up for the recital. Cheer from the sidelines. Call the person. Live life fully—NOW. Ask someone about their life and deeply listen to what they tell you—even listen for what they aren't saying. Stand up for someone who needs a voice. Serve without seeking recognition. Tell people you love them—and SHOW THEM through your actions. And above all, love God and love your neighbor through the way you actually live. Because that is what Brenda did. And there are countless people whose lives are different because Brenda Caris Kotsis was here. May her memory be eternal. Funeral Arrangements Tuesday, September 15 - Visitation Wujek-Calcaterra & Sons, Inc. 36900 Schoenherr Road, Sterling Heights, MI at Metro Parkway (16 Mile) 3:00–8:00 p.m. — Visitation 7:00 p.m. — Trisagion Prayer Service Wednesday, September 16 — Funeral & Burial ASSUMPTION GREEK ORTHODOX CHURCH 21800 Marter Road, St. Clair Shores, MI 9:00 a.m. — Instate / Viewing 10:00 a.m. — Funeral Liturgy 11:30 a.m. — Luncheon in the Church Hall 1:30 p.m. — Depart for Resurrection Cemetery to arrive at 2:00pm service Funeral Livestream: For those unable to attend in person, watch here: https://www.goassumption.org/live-stream RESURRECTION CEMETERY 18201 Clinton River Road, Clinton Township, MI 48038-2903 2:00 p.m. SHARP — Graveside Service https://www.mtelliott.com/resurrection-cemetery/ PLEASE — NO ADDITIONAL FLOWERS Our family is deeply grateful for the many beautiful flowers that have already been sent and for the love behind every one of them. We kindly ask that NO ADDITIONAL FLOWERS be sent. Instead, if you would like to honor Brenda's life, please make a memorial donation to Assumption Greek Orthodox Church or Dutton Farm. https://duttonfarm.org/donate/ Dutton Farm holds a particularly meaningful place in our family. It is the day program Brenda's daughter Elaine attends four days each week, empowering adults with disabilities to live lives of purpose, inclusion and dignity. A gift to Dutton Farm helps support Elaine's future and the futures of other adults with disabilities—continuing a mission Brenda devoted so much of her life to. Please honor Brenda with a donation instead of flowers. -Share memories with the family at their On-Line Guest Book @ WujekCalcaterra.com.

Brenda Caris Kotsis

July 11, 1955 - September 13, 2026